what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
