My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
this boner is exhausting
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize