so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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