like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We have started to decorate penises.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
