It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
