Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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