Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize