Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize