It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
