So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
