how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
