I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
