sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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