she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
