Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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