are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
