Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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