Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I think i got beer on your cat.
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