he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
