she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
