Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
