ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
