He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
