eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
