that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
did i walk over a car last night?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
