She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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