even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
