so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
