Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
