Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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