i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
