Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
