Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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