dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Quick, to the slutcave!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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