somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
