chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
