Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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