1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it