'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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