Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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