New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
