woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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