We're facebook friends in real life
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize