found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize