Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So many bounce houses so little time
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
