he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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