he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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