Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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