Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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