This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
