Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
