ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
