Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize