Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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