we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
