it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
