Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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