I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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