Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
